creating a/broad, August 31, 2013

The Art of Packing
by Cameryn Moore
@cameryn moore

The main thing you need to know before reading today’s column is: I am going back to Edinburgh Festival Fringe next year, to remount Phone Whore. I don’t know details, obviously, and I don’t know exactly how to manifest everything I’m going to need. It still feels a little overwhelming, actually, this decision and all the experiences that I’ve been having for the last five weeks. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, though, I know what helps: making lists.

WHAT I WILL BRING TO EDINBURGH NEXT YEAR

• Emergen-C packets. For those times when stopping by the convenience store at 2am just seems like too much work.
• Arnica cream. My ankle will get twisted, or someone’s will.
• MOAR ADVIL. See above, plus sleep-deprivation headaches.
• More cute stockings. Self-explanatory.
• A sweatshirt for hanging around the house. That shit’s cold and damp up there!
• My (soon-to-be-)patented Lumberjack Lingerie, i.e. the legs cut off from long johns and worn as stockings. That shit is definitely cold and damp enough up there for long johns.
• Some kind of foldable coffee filter cone. Drip coffee isn’t really Done here. Neither is half-and-half, but I can’t do anything about that.
• Folders in which to organize receipts as I go. Jeezus, I do not want to empty out that baggie when I get back to Montreal…
• More slut (r)evolution pins. Badges. They call them badges over here. That shit was flying out the door.
• More button designs, period, more tiny, portable, fun merch, and not necessarily show-related, either. I learn a lot from watching the way the Die Roten Punkte merch machine operates.
• A Sharpie. Why did I not have a Sharpie with me? And a good extra-fine-point one as well.
• Extra re-usable grocery bags. The ones I had ended up being used to port newly acquired props, and a few times I needed them to, you know, hold groceries.
• An extra bra. I was able to perform a (so-far) successful emergency underwire-ectomy and transplant, using the two broken bras that I had on hand, but I can’t expect that sort of luck to hold out two years in a row.
• More gum. I don’t know what kinda gum they’re selling there, but it ain’t right.
• A new print-out of my script. This one is literally 3.5 years old; it is verging on archeological at this point.
• A fresh Whorasol and a proper spare base. I was able to improvise off of a red brolly that was in the lost and found of my venue, but again, that was just luck.
• Hopefully a new laptop. My iBook will be 10 YEARS OLD next year. It has done yeoman’s service, but it is time for something faster, that doesn’t weigh So. Goddamn. Much.
• My Certificate of Sponsorship, all sorted out in advance. Because being detained at Heathrow was not a pleasant way to start out my UK tour.

WHAT I WILL NOT BRING TO EDINBURGH NEXT YEAR

• My bundt cake pan. Good intentions are not enough to make monkey bread and a brunch happen in the middle of the Fringe chaos.
• My tutu. As much as I love it, I suspect the impact of one day of wearing it is insufficient reason for clogging up my personal luggage with it.
• My packing tape gun and staple gun. As naked as my street promo bag will feel without them, these are heavy implements, and unnecessary: every place in Edinburgh, at least, insisted on blue-tac. If I really need packing tape, I can just buy a roll and go back to using my teeth to tear off pieces.
• My foundation? I dunno. I may bring it for non-Fringe shows before or after the fringe, but there in Edinburgh it just didn’t make sense to put that on in the morning, wear it all day, and then take it off every night.
• Jewelry, other than the two rings I wear at all times.
• Liquid makeup remover in a cheap-jack plastic travel bottle. Even though I bagged it up as best as I could in a Ziploc baggie, I am a little bit afraid every time I open my toiletries bag. I should not fear opening my toiletries bag.
• Most of my electronic devices, unless I determine ahead of time that I really will use them. My digital voice recorder: nope. My iPod: mmph. My digital camera: now that I have an iPhone, probably not.
• This enormous baggie containing connectors for my electronic devices.
• My back-up external drive. Really, I need to take care of that shit before I leave the country. Does no good to have the lap top AND the back-up with me.
• SO MANY FUCKING POSTCARDS. I can’t get rid of all of them, Edinburgh Fringe being what it is. I will order maybe 2500 to start and see how that feels.
• I only had four short-sleeved t-shirts, but I could have actually gotten by with two fewer t-shirts, or one less and one different one. I know that sounds gross, but everyone gets skanky there, it’s just a matter of time and laundry.

camerynmoore.com