Tuesday, July 16, 2013

After Dark, July 16, 2013

Notes From the Heart of Darkness (Fringe 2013)
by Gaëtan L. Charlebois

You Know it's Fringe when...

- you tell a friend you can meet for a "quick coffee" as long as it's at the laundromat

- you are thinking in terms of hashtags and 140 character limits

- you are trying to find a pull quote in a review that is nicer than "it's amusing at times"

- you try to treat a show and its company gently and then realize: a) there's an hour of my life I'll never get back b) why am I treating these people like they're toddlers?

- you NEED Facebook if only to vent your spleen about bad show photos, bad PR, and bad plays and also there you get to swear like a a drunken sailor in a whorehouse

- you spend email time promising writers they WILL eventually see a good show by saying, "Look at Writer X over there, she's seen nothing but good shows!" Then you realize that doesn't help

- sweating becomes a lifestyle

- similarly, a downpour qualifies as a shower

- a bowl of Cheetos beside the computer is calculated as one serving each of roughage, dairy and grain. The bottle of gatorade is two servings of fruit or vegetables

- your sexlife consists of hoping there will be nudity in the next show 

- you're Tweeting, Facebooking and formatting articles at 4am and then following up with Twitter conversations with other editors about how no one is sleeping

- online chat goes from best shows (bo-RING!) to ones so blissfully awful and wrong-headed they're hilarious. (They did scenes from the Bible? Without irony? Really?)

- everything you read on the internet, see on TV news or hear on the street strikes you as a good idea for a Fringe play

- you rage and cry sometimes

- you are glad you are this busy because the real world has suddenly turned awful and if it wasn't for Fringe work, you'd be raging or crying ALL the time

- you are drinking non-alcoholic beer because otherwise you'd be agreeing with the spellcheck that wants to change Fringe into Finger. (And no one wants to hear about how your team of reviewers are great at Fingering.)

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