After Dark, January 29, 2013

Malaise

You know you're angry...but specifically why?

by GaëtanL. Charlebois

I am in a pissy mood these days. Since Christmas, I suspect. Normally I can point to one thing or a couple and say, "Ah! There's the source!" But when you're a publisher (even for a small-ish publication like CharPo) there are so many things which can get on your nerves that also float about your real life that divining the most important source is virtually impossible. So here's the deal: I'm going to lay some shit on you and think about would makes you angry (angriest).

- I live in an old apartment where we freeze if we leave a window open but breathe bad air (two smokers) if we don't. 

- I tweet using the @ like a good person should but even companies who get rave reviews don't retweet anything but print reviews.

- The Charbonneau Commission.

- My dog is a sissy about salt in his paws but still takes years to piss - even at -30 Celsius.

- We have writers working on this site who are among the best in the country and who participate with humour and eagerness and they are lumped in with amateurs who churn out internet swill in discussions about the value of internet opinion.

- I have vivid, sleep-disruptive dreams about not being able to hear someone I don't care about on Skype.

- Stephen Harper.

- I look at results on our survey (left on this page) and wonder how people think we can run things (ie: pay writers) on a subscription fee of less than $5 a month.

- I'm on a diet and even when I eat less than the suggested calorie count to lose weight, I gain three pounds in a day. (A tumour from the smoking?!)

- There are three companies I have already complained to who keep spamming CharPo websites comments pages.

- I have to wear an expensive, unpleasant, medical appliance that is supposed to be changed every week, but I have to change it every three days.

- A very big and powerful commercial theatre company we have had very cordial relations with is now denying CharPo ticket privileges because of one op-ed and, worse, never answers email. Moreover, naming them might just make this fucking mess worse and, even, make the very existence of this site untenable. 

- Rob Ford.

- The people on this street don't realize salt doesn't melt ice when the weather is this cold. (Result, my sissy limping dog)

- We have contributors across the country when it comes to first-person articles but it's like pulling teeth without anesthetic when it comes to getting articles from Montreal artists (with some great exceptions). BTW: I live in Montreal.

- It's too fucking cold.

Whew! You know what...getting all this out makes me feel a little less pissy. 

And let's face it, this site is a success. I love the writers here (so much so that I never just format their articles...I end up reading and thinking about and pausing over each piece and feel smarter for the effort). I love the artists who share and am fascinated by how theatrical creation has changed (or, in some cases, stayed the same) since I was doing it and about how each artist has a different journey they explain well. 

And spring will come and, even now, the sissy dog keeps me warm.