There’s something for everyone in this collection of theatre-related gift ideas…
by Matt G of Matt and Kyle and Matt
1. Oedipus Rex, the Boardgame.
Roll the dice and travel across the beautiful Grecian landscape, but don’t land on Tragic Flaw or you start right back at the beginning. Be the first to have sex with your mom and kill your dad. Fun for the whole family!
2. Chekhovian Action Figures.
Finally, your son or daughter will be able to stage their very own production of Three Sisters or Uncle Vanya. With moveable arms and legs, now you can position Aleksandr Vladimirovich Serebryakov in any number of miserable poses.
3. Glow in the Dark Codpieces
Any old codpiece can accentuate your crotch, but these glow-in-the-dark codpieces will make it impossible to look at anything else.
Give the gift that keeps on giving. With Showtunes-for-hire, a composer and lyricist will follow you around and write showtunes based on your life and mundane experiences. Doing the dishes or hitting the John never seemed so catchy and emotionally resonant.
For the theatre-loving thrillseeker in the family, why not get them their very own Peter-Pan Harness? This could be used to careen across their living-rooms, re-enacting their favorite scenes, or perhaps to change an out-of-reach lightbulb, or use the harnesses in the bedroom, achieving a variety of bizarre sex acts, during which you can still re-enact your favorite Peter Pan scenes (pulleys not included).